By 7 a.m. on a Sunday morning, somewhere between 100 and 500 people line up in an open-air queue inside zigzagging barricades. Patiently (and silently), they wait their turn at the chopping block. Few make it in, leaving most would-be visitors rejected with a simple, brutal “nein.” Something as common as cash can’t guarantee someone entry, since almost anyone can pay the 20-euro entrance fee. To persuade the door to grant you access, a rarer form of payment is required: vibes. This currency of cool is extremely hard to come by, especially in an internet age filled with so many impostors.
Entering the Berghain Nightclub
Finally, next in line (after being silent for half an hour), the chances of being turned away at the door start to diminish. The usual tricks won't work here: there is no guest list and there is no way to fool the bouncer. In a few seconds, if I am rejected, I will have no choice but to go back to my hotel, pack my bags and fly 15 hours back home empty-handed.
“Willkommen,” I hear from a man with tattoos on his face and dressed head to toe in black leather. I try to remain calm. “Danke,” I reply quietly, as he gestures me into Berlin’s legendary four-story nightclub. I’ve made it: This is Berghain.
New York It-Girl
But who am I to be telling you about Berghain? My name is Linux, and I’m the It-Girl of downtown New York. I spend my time hosting and attending the hottest, most exclusive parties in New York City, barely surviving to tell the tales. Being so involved in the nightlife industry means I’m constantly told by hip kids and scene queens that there’s no place like Berghain. But how true is this oft-recited anthem? I’ve been to so many overhyped clubs, festivals, and parties, only to be disappointed by how overrated and underrated they actually are.
Would the same fate be in store for Berghain, or would I finally be blown away? There was only one way to find out, so I booked my flight from JFK to BER in search of the party experience of a lifetime. Only one thing was holding me back: the bouncer. Berghain is famous for being the most exclusive and hard-to-get-into nightclub in the world. (Elon Musk was denied entry earlier this year, an occurrence that flooded the internet with headlines and further propagated the notion that some places on Earth are inaccessible even to the Man on Mars.)
Techno Haven
But before we attempt to enter Berghain, we first need to understand the history of the famous nightclub and how it became the elusive and renowned techno haven that it is today.
Berghain as it stands today opened in 2004, but its full history dates back to the 1990s. During a conservative decade in Berlin, owners Michael Teufele and Norbert Thormann rebelliously produced a traveling underground party called “Snax.” Snax was both Sodom and Gomorrah, showcasing cutting-edge techno music in line with the taboo that is gay sexual liberation. In 1998, Teufele and Thormann were offered a permanent spot in a new club called Ostgut—an immediate success.
Lab.Oratory
The pair expanded Ostgut by adding Panorama Bar, which attracted a more mainstream crowd and focused on house music. To balance this out, they created Lab.oratory, a venue dedicated to gay sex parties where men could play out their deepest, most limitless desires with each other. In 2003, the construction of a new events arena forced the owners out of Ostgut, seemingly with nowhere else to go.
This would turn out to be a blessing in disguise, however, as it pushed them straight into a nearby abandoned 1950s power plant, at the time owned by energy company Vattenfall. The owners made the difficult (but great) decision to finally leave the underground behind and give themselves a permanent home in the building now known as Berghain. Things were never the same again.
How Much Does Entry to Berghain Cost?
The entry/rejection ratio has become so legendary that you can’t digest any content about Berghain without being bombarded with endless details about how to get in. There’s even an interactive door simulator called the BerghainTrainer that helps the ultra-desperate prepare for their arrival, as if getting past security were a skill to be developed and honed.
GQ magazine once asked Berghain’s iconic doorman Sven Marquardt (who has lived in East Berlin since the 1980s) what rules to follow when getting in. His advice? “Get there early. Don’t try to cut in line. Know who’s DJing that night. Dress casually—jeans and a T-shirt are best. Don’t go in a large group. Don’t be too young. Don’t make jokes or laugh in line. Don’t talk in line. Or, if you have to, speak in German.”
And finally, she walked in. Right after hearing Sven’s greeting “willkommen”, she immediately felt a sense of approval.
Hat shop
Her bags were checked by security and she paid 20 euros at the ticket office. The man behind the glass stamped her inner wrist and placed a bracelet on her wrist. Now she could stay from Friday night until Monday morning, coming and going as she pleased, as long as she had five euros left for the re-entry fee. She had a theory that using a stamp for re-entry would
re-entry was why some of the Berghain regulars were known to smell so bad – they were afraid they would accidentally wash off their stamps if they showered, leaving them without a place to party. But she was giving them the benefit of the doubt, as it was probably just poor hygiene practices.
The club’s party hours were not for the faint of heart. Berghain is closed during the week and opens at 11:59 p.m. on Fridays until 8 or 9 a.m. on Saturdays. After a quick cleanup and a quick nap by the entire staff, the club reopens at 11:59 p.m. on Saturdays and stays busy until 8 or 9 a.m. on Mondays. It’s not uncommon to get there at midnight on Saturdays, go home and take a nap for a few hours, and then come back for the rest of the weekend, which is about 36 hours. Or, even wilder, to binge-watch the entire weekend.
Weekend
The weekend she chose to lose her Berghain virginity was extremely appropriate, as many New Yorkers were in town to DJ there. Volvox from New York headlined the weekend, a huge honor in the music and nightlife industry. Berghain’s headlining DJs play in the main room and close out the entire weekend, playing from late Sunday night through to early Monday morning. This wasn’t the first time Volvox had headlined, which just goes to show the immense talent and skill she possesses, as well as the respect the legendary club has for its techno sets.
The plan for the weekend would be as follows: Volvox would guide her through her first Berghain experience sonically, while her longtime partner Seva Granik (producer and founder of New York’s premier underground techno party, Unter), and other regulars she knew would guide her physically. It was a party recipe any budding raver would be blessed to have.
The Energy
The energy you feel when you walk into Berghain is the nocturnal version of what little kids feel when they walk into Disneyland or what semi-famous influencers feel when they walk into Coachella. Whoever you are, if you’ve made it this far, you’ll undeniably feel a thrilling sense of excitement, a touch of fear, and countless routes to delight.
No amount of training or research can prepare you for how massive this nightclub is. Ceilings in any given room reach over 40 feet, long, winding hallways take you through oxbow curves, and countless staircases take you to completely new worlds. Simply put: you’ll get lost. And that’s the fun part.
One Berghain regular told me that even after years of going, he still discovers new passages and sections of the club every time he returns. With the grand interior architecture comes a massive crowd. Countless people from all walks of life, national origins, tax brackets and sexual orientations come to this techno hub of the universe with one thing in common: cool.
Anti-Drug Policy
There’s a conservative argument that Berghain is nothing more than an Eastern European drug den. And while there are plenty of drugs circulating around the building, you’ll never see them being used with your own eyes. Berghain has a strict no-drugs policy. Unlike almost any bar or club in New York, anyone caught using or possessing illegal substances will be immediately thrown out of the club and branded with the dreaded “Verboten.” Berghain patrons who use party drugs live in constant fear due to the three-month ban, which is strictly enforced.
Whether you want to pop a pill, take a shot or snort a powder, all your needs can be met at the Berghain’s watering hole: the toilets. Even with more than five toilets in the building, the queues to secure a stall can be 30 minutes long. It’s inside the toilet stall that you can – in theory – do whatever you want. Even in some stalls there are no toilets, just benches to sit on. On my two nights at the Berghain, I crammed into a 1.2-metre by 1.2-metre toilet stall with seven other people – several times. Two of my toilet partners spoke only French and the other two spoke only German.
Multi-Languages
And as a group of different tongues, we still share a common language spoken only through our noses. After my first trip to the bathroom, I learned how easy it was to accidentally spend half an hour “going to the bathroom.” Berghain’s illicit substance policy echoes the general tone of the club’s unwritten mission statement: You can poop in our house, and even eat it if you want—just don’t do it in the living room.
But you don’t need drugs to get high; the energy inside Berghain will do that all by itself. I tried to experience as many areas of Berghain as possible during my extended stay there and have created a guide for you:
If you’re feeling up to it and want to get lost in the music, head to the center of the dance floor in the main room, just before the wooden benches. The music is loudest there, and it’s where the air conditioning is blowing.
The DJ's
If you’re in the mood but still want to be seen and feel “powerful”: dance front and center or front and left of the DJ booth. You can leave your drink on the shelf in front of the DJ booth if you don’t want to hold it.
If you're one of those annoying people who go to Berghain to network (me!): spend your time in the front and to the right of the
DJ booth, as that's where the DJ's friends and more industry people are. That said, if you find yourself talking to someone more than they're talking to you, leave them alone. They're probably just trying to enjoy the music and don't want to be bothered all night.
If you’re tired of techno and want to feel sexy (or just need some lighter vibes), head to Panorama Bar. The lighting is impeccable and it’s where people can actually see who they’re trying to pick up. Great place to meet a man.
Panorama Bar
If you need to relax and be alone, there is a corridor that leads to the Panorama Bar and has small niches where you can lie down. No one will bother you.
If you need to relax but still want to be social, there’s a bright lounge area just above the main techno room. If you’re coming to Berghain alone, I recommend starting here, as everyone is super friendly and you’ll make friends in no time.
If you need a cigarette, grab one and smoke it on the dance floor. Save the outside area for when it's really the vibe, from early Sunday morning to Sunday afternoon when they have DJs in the garden.
If you’re feeling peckish or craving something sweet, head to the ice cream shop on the top floor. The ice cream is delicious, and the perfect way to break up the night. This could also be a cute date idea in the middle of the chaos with the cute Germans you’ve been hooking up with so far.
If you want to pee in someone's mouth, use the urinal. Literally so many people will flirt with you, asking for a sip of your Molly pee.
Intense Heat
If you need to freshen up, head to the sinks in one of the bathrooms and splash some water on your face. If you smell, grab a lemon from the bar and squeeze it into your armpits. Then head to Panorama Bar and order a coffee martini. They’re Berghain’s best kept secret and they’ll even be served in a fancy martini glass! I did this around 6am on a Monday and it was truly iconic. The juxtaposition was something extremely extravagant.
If you're starting to feel weird on a Monday morning, stay in the main room. Panorama Bar lets in the sunlight and is far from flattering.
If you're feeling horny, head to the dark rooms of the Lab.oratory. Leave the bathroom stalls for what they're really made for.
Bring a marker with you. On the way out, there is a multi-story illuminated staircase at the back of the building that runs through the entire club. You will see hundreds and hundreds of signatures. Be a part of history and sign yours too. (I don't know, that was sentimental for the young ones!)
Chewing gum and water
Also bring some chewing gum, a lighter, and a full pack of cigarettes. These are highly appreciated at Berghain. They will come in handy for both you and anyone you are trying to impress.
And most importantly: don't wear heels, don't take pictures, avoid using your phone, and don't buy drugs from strangers! Oh, and drink water.
During one weekend in Germany, she ended up spending a full 36 hours at that club. During those 36 hours, she saw God on the dance floor countless times, a feeling that nightlife junkies like her spend their entire lives trying to find. She made new friends from all over the world (if they remember her, of course!) Now she can say she danced on the bar at Berghain at 9am on a Monday morning, holding a martini glass, while a New York techno legend (and now close friend) held the keys to the CDJ Castle.
Back Home
On her flight back from Berlin, a disheartening rumor began circulating online: Berghain may be on its way out. According to several insiders, the club may not even remain open beyond 2023. If that is the case (and she sincerely hopes it isn’t!), she, along with many others who have shared the privilege, is eternally grateful to have experienced it. Even after just one weekend there, she strongly endorses all the good press it has received over the past two decades.
We hope that for the sake of culture, Berghain isn’t going anywhere anytime soon. If you’re reading this right now and haven’t been yet – get on a damn flight, train or bus to Berlin ASAP. As we’ve learned first-hand time and time again in the history of nightlife: even the best party on Earth must eventually end.
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